2 Weeks In

It's been two and a half weeks since Emme was welcomed into this world. A part of me feels like this time has gone by so slow yet too fast at the same time. Each day has brought new challenges, and I'm learning just how quickly babies change. One day I think I have things "figured out", and the next day Emme is a whole different baby with new needs and an evolving personality.

And I'm loving it, each and every day.

That's not to say it's been easy, because it certainly hasn't been. In fact, my first week with Emme was filled with lots and lots of tears--not Emme's but rather mine. I was a mess wondering what I had gotten myself into, whether I was doing everything all wrong, wondering when things would be getting better. I was so blessed to have my mom here during Emme's first week. She was so supportive and helpful and reassuring. My sister-in-law Jess was (and still is) invaluable to me. Being that she is a new mom herself, she was able to offer advice and reassurance along the way.

Our first week home with Emme can be described as a lot of sleepless nights for Raul and I. Emme is not a fan of sleeping on her back in her co-sleeper, so much of our time was spent figuring out how we could get her to sleep during the night. Just as challenging for me during the first week was breastfeeding. Without going into too many details, let's just say it has been an extremely painful experience for myself. Emme, however, is an expert latcher and has been since day 1. She's definitely doing her part. Things are getting better day by day with breastfeeding, but I'm still waiting for the day when I don't dread nursing her. Emme still isn't up to her original birthweight, but we're getting close.  I have been going to weekly breastfeeding support groups through my midwives' office, which has been a great way to get advice from lactation consultants as well as socialize a bit with other new moms.

In addition to the sleepless nights and breastfeeding challenges, I have also been having a bit of a difficult physical recovery from the delivery. It's taking quite a bit of time to heal, so I haven't been able to be out and about as much as I would like. But things are getting better, slowly but surely. We even made it out Sunday to our outdoor mall. It was a mild day, so it was nice to get some fresh air.

Even though I am sleep deprived and facing breastfeeding and healing challenges, I am so enjoying motherhood. Emme is such a good baby. Raul and I both agree we could stare at her all day. She is just so mesmerizing. And she just keeps getting cuter by the day! I feel like I really know her personality already. Raul is a great father, not that I expected anything different. His love for her is already so evident. He has become quite the expert diaper changer and swaddler. He has been so helpful and involved since day 1.

A few more thoughts on the first two weeks:

• Sleep deprivation is real and rough! Emme is a good sleeper but is up every 2-3 hours at night to feed. I'm getting about 7 hours of sleep total, but when it is broken up over the night, the quality of sleep really isn't there.
• "Baby Blues" are also real, and I'm so happy that they seemed to have disappeared. I really just need to leave the crying to the baby.
• Support groups are so helpful. I am so happy to have the Breastfeeding Support Group to go to weekly. It has made a world of difference for me.
• I'm really hoping the pain of breastfeeding subsides soon. I never anticipated that nursing would be so difficult.
• I can't wait to workout again. I've lost 20 pounds so far. I'm within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'd love to lose another 15 all together. 
• Marty has adjusted well to life with a baby. He has a bit of jealousy issues, meaning that he wants to be pet at all the wrong times (i.e when I'm nursing or when the baby's crying--the times I'm really devoting my attention to Emme).
• Being a SAHM is a full-time job. I used to wonder what SAHMs did all day, and now I know. My to-do list is never done and my schedule revolves around 2 hour increments of feedings. If I'm not nursing, I'm pumping or soothing or holding her or changing diapers or dressing her or trying my darndest to get something done around the house.
• I am thankful for our family and friends. Case in point, Emme's Auntie Jess babysat her for a couple hours on Friday night so Raul and I could have our first date night out since baby. It was weird being away from her, but nice to get out, just the two of us, for a nice dinner.
• I have the best husband and Emme has the best father one could ask for. Raul has been nothing short of wonderful.
• It's amazing how in love you can be with someone instantaneously. Emme is a blessing to our lives, and we already can't imagine being without her.